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A Bread Board made by a Blue collar Bread winner

Project by reedwood posted 04-17-2014 02:44 AM 4125 views 0 times favorited 7 comments Add to Favorites Watch
A Bread Board made by a Blue collar Bread winner
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Don’t know about you …...

but, this is how us blue collar crusty carpenters like makin bread boards.

.

yes sir, you can use it… go ahead, slice somethin on it.

.
.

You won’t find no mortised handmade miters, baltic bamboo butterflies or a slidin sassafrass slip fit.

No swirlin CNC strings or dizzy three D patterns, makin you have to sit down just from lookin at it.

No impossible inlays made from that bird eyed Buzinga, spalted spruce or quilted cocabola.

No loopy live edges or turquoise filled tunnels that look like green fungi laced granola.

No ivory or bony inlays or that burly butcher block end grain, always warpin and crackin and shit.

No usin nine different wood species from seven different continents, then spazzin out when GOP Gibson does it.

No woodworkin website threads with replies from 159 white collar, auto pencil pushin, Roubo bench bangin,

Festool fetish rubbin, Gold member Guild geeks,.... goin frickin insane,

”How do I cut a perfectly square 2×2” bread board block with my Lee Nielsen #1 hand plane?”

No exotic wood store excursions, hand selectin crotched, quilted and quarter sawn grains

.... no one else will ever see.

No spendin 289.50 for a pile a wood you can carry in one hand, five exotic wood fillers,

.... and a How To DVD.

No Sir,

Ain’t no reason wastin good cutoffs like a 1×8 piece a maple from drawers

I’m makin for a good payin project..

Ain’t no sense in wastin daylight makin a Bread Board so nice,

nobody would ever want to cut nuttin on it.

.

.

Ain’t no need spendin money makin wall hangin wood art,

ya can’t even cut up a tomato on,.... for fear a rinsin it.

Ain’t no way runnin it through the power planer

and gettin a nice clean cuttin surface on it!

.

.
.
.

No sir, makes no common sense at all,
.

always figured cut offs were for bread cuttin.

what do I know….. nuttin makes sense no more, ..... nuttin.

.

.

-- mark - Grayslake IL.



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reedwood

101 posts in 2146 days

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7 comments so far

View patron's profile

patron

5 posts in 2328 days

posted 04-17-2014 02:55 AM

got that right mark

even a sawhorse makes a good sandwich making board
on a jobsite

-- my best work has been done when i get out of bed . this hasn't allways been the case !

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reedwood

101 posts in 2146 days

posted 04-17-2014 03:16 AM

Patron, hey man….

now we’re talkin, two saw horses and a chunk a plywood and we’ll have a smorgasbord! Ha!

-- mark - Grayslake IL.

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reedwood

101 posts in 2146 days

posted 04-17-2014 03:51 PM

I’d love to post this at LJ…....Ha!

Roubo geeks…he he. I crack myself up.

I’m such a trouble maker.

-- mark - Grayslake IL.

View joecot's profile

joecot

41 posts in 1023 days

posted 04-19-2014 12:04 AM

As somebody who makes homemade bread, I appreciate the simple and natural. Like your breadboard.

-- Joe Cottonwood -- 99 Jobs: Blood, Sweat, and Houses

View GaryL's profile

GaryL

208 posts in 2238 days

posted 04-20-2014 11:42 AM

Haha…this was a good one Mark. I double dare ya to post this on LJ’s…....
I’ll sit back and watch the masses form the lynch mob….lol

Hey…those aren’t the dovetails that are on the front and back of the drawers boxes are they….hehe….

-- The difference between a pro and an amateur, an amateur points out his mistakes

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reedwood

101 posts in 2146 days

posted 04-20-2014 12:42 PM

Good morning GaryL,

Ha!... it would be fun, but I’ll save this one for us, the guys that get it. just teasing anyway…..maybe.

So, you saw that reply on the thread,

which would you like better, a routed finger or a board kick in the gut?”

Kind of a dumb question but, it kept the Piranha pack of IThinkers busy…..snark.

No, those aren’t the same ones. he he. These are for my own cherry kitchen I’ve been talking about all winter and now finally installing…. so close!

very interesting story involving a million dollar inheritance behind that major, once in a 40 yr. career gaff.
see my blog on LJ: Good therapy.

the best part is revealed in my last comment.

-- mark - Grayslake IL.

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hhcg01

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